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George Carlin Tees

·422 words·2 mins·
Personal Essay Demotivation
Author
The Freudian Couch
Humanity is doomed. I am basing this statement on the fact that we -- almost each one of us -- are filled with half stupidity and half greed : a deadly combination. There are, and there have been a few exceptional people though, who have transcended the average stupidity, and drawn attention to this fact repeatedly. Here is one such; one of my favorites - George Carlin, presented in unusual avatars.

A black T-shirt printed with George Carlin’s face and the line “I don’t have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!”

A T-shirt for Carlin’s special Life Is Worth Losing

A white T-shirt with a pencil portrait of a young, bearded George Carlin

A T-shirt printed with Carlin pointing at the viewer and the line “The planet isn’t going anywhere… we are!”

A man wearing a Last Words T-shirt showing Carlin sitting on a stoop

Why this sudden love for Carlin, you ask? George Carlin was not only clever, he had enough foresight to predict the future accurately. Not just any future; he predicted his own specific future too. Don't believe me? Have a look at this quote from his book Brain Droppings (Hat Tip : https://www.quora.com/Comedians/Why-did-George-Carlin-always-wear-black#)
I'm tired of being unable to buy clothing that doesn't have writing and printing all over it. Insipid sayings, pseudo-wisdom, cute slogans, team logos, designer names, brand trademarks, small-business ego trips; the marketing pigs and advertising swine have turned us all into walking billboards. You see some asshole walkin' by, and he's got on a fruity Dodger hat and a Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt. Of course you can't see the shirt if he's wearing his hot-shit Chicago Bulls jacket. The one that only 50 million other loser jock-sniffers own. And since this cretinous sports fan/consumer zombie is completely for sale to anyone, he rounds out his ensemble with FedEx sneakers, ValuJet socks, Wall Street Journal sweatpants, a Starbucks jock strap, and a Microsoft condom with Bill Gates's head on the end of it. No one in this country owns his personal appearance anymore. America has become a nation of obedient consumers, actively participating in their own degradation.
My research abilities are inadequate to determine who makes money out of all George Carlin merchandise, but I safely assume that it involves a few "marketing pigs and advertising swine".

To top it all, the best of the lot I could find online is this image of Geroge Carlin, on a sleeveless shirt.

A sleeveless shirt with a stark black-and-white portrait of George Carlin, 1937–2008

Care to find out what George Carlin thought about sleeveless shirts? Watch this video :
 



Here’s another male cliché... these guys that cut the sleeves off of their t-shirts so the rest of us can have an even more compelling experience of smelling their armpits. I say “Hey Bruno, shut it down would you please? You smell like an anchovy’s cunt okay? Ughh... not good... ugh... ugh... whoa... not good Bruno, and definitely not for sharing.”

Irony just got blended, weaved, bleached, dyed and sold as a T-shirt.
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  • Gopal Vijayaraghavan

    It is not only USA.. India is fast catching up in this snobbery and will overtake West in a decade.